I want to straighten things up but I'm afraid of getting hurt, or hurting somebody. I don't want to get hurt again. I'm so scared that I cannot handle it if I get hurt again. I get hurt way too often nowadays. But if I do, I'll now whats right and whats not, I know it will hurt me, but its better than not knowing the truth. Right? I'm not sure either. But still, I have to make sure, so I'll know that there's no shade of gray there. Maybe he thought I was living okay while he's struggling to forget me, its not true. I haven't forgotten him yet. I still loved him no matter what he do to me. For almost 2 months I endured with it I endured his selfishness and all the emotional feelings I have inside. I lost 3 kg because of it. I let him step over me so many times. Cause I believed him whenever he said he still thinks that he loves me, only that he's confused. Is this some kind of drama really? I'm so tired of all this, maybe I don't want to fall in love anymore. I don't blame him he's a good guy and I believed that there was once he actually loved me and I'm happy with just that. Its actually my fault for spoiling him, loving him more than I love myself. It's not his fault. But I blame him for saying those stuff, making me believe. But in believing is my choice and I believed him and its my fault, right? He still cannot make up his mind, he wants both. He wants all. But that cannot be right. I'm tired
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